Your wedding day is probably one of the best days of your life. You’re happy, your family is smiling, and you and your spouse are both looking forward to a happy life together. While your married life will seem like a fairytale in the first few months, reality will eventually kick in.
Sadly, marriage isn’t always about butterflies, colors, and rainbows. Some days will be dark, you will fight, and there will be a lot of misunderstandings. A successful marriage will require commitment, hard work, and faith. It also involves mutual respect and growth.
In other terms, successful marriages don’t happen overnight. It’s a collection of memories and experiences where you and your spouse decide to remain faithful to each other despite the hardships of life.
Communication is vital in all relationships, and it is particularly crucial to keep your marriage happy and healthy. Be open with what you feel, but do it kindly and respectfully. When communicating with your spouse, it’s essential to show them that you are opening a topic not to start a fight but to start a calm conversation.
If something is bothering you, tell your partner. Many people think that their spouses can magically determine what they are thinking, but just like you, they are humans too. They need to hear and discuss things clearly so both of you can come up with a solution.
No spouse is perfect. However, that imperfection should not discourage you from showing your appreciation to your spouse. Show or tell your partner how grateful you are for having them in your life.
There are many ways to show gratitude without sounding cheesy. For instance, praise the dinner your wife prepared for you or give your husband a good back massage after a long day at work. These may seem like simple gestures, but when it comes to relationships, the little things matter.
Trust is fundamental in marriage. Yet it’s something that most people find hard to build. Remember that without trust, your marriage will sooner or later go downhill, so make an effort. John Gottman, Oh.D., a researcher and marriage therapist, says that hiding secrets, defensiveness, and criticism are the most destructive threats to a marriage. The more you engage in such activities, the more likely you are to divorce.
Build trust through simple gestures, such as updating your spouse about your whereabouts, sharing details only the two of you can know, and spending quality time together. You can also gradually build trust little by little. For instance, update your partner about the current amount in your joint online bank savings account. Even though money should not be a big deal in your relationship, being open about it is pivotal in building a good foundation.
Everybody makes mistakes. In marriage, your partner will hurt your feelings a few times, and often, it’s unintentional. Forgive your partner when they ask for your forgiveness. If they upset you and make you feel sad or furious, communicate when you’re ready. Explain why their actions hurt you, and in return, listen to your partner’s explanation.
Have Some Personal Time
You may be married, but that does not mean that you have to do everything together. You still need to grow individually and enjoy the things you used to enjoy when you were still single. Some alone time allows you to discover new things about yourself. It gives you the time you need to appreciate your partner’s presence even more because, as the saying goes, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
Make Time For Your Spouse
No matter how busy life gets, always make time for your spouse. Career and responsibilities may keep you occupied, and because of this, the romance factor in your relationship could quickly go down the drain.
Make an effort to plan dates, eat meals together, watch a movie before going to bed, or chill at home. Spending quality time together doesn’t always have to be extravagant. In the end, it’s all about making time to make your spouse feel special.
Understand That You’re Not Always Right
It’s common for married couples to have disagreements. And while you might think that you’re always right, you need to understand that your partner could be right too. Try to be calmer when you and your spouse are making an important decision. Let them voice out their opinion and share yours too. By doing this, you’re giving each other a chance to be heard, allowing your feelings, emotions, and ideals to be validated.
In summary, you need to stay committed to your spouse no matter how hard life gets. Keep close to your heart the family and the life that both of you built. Support each other and allow love and trust to be at the center of your relationship.