Many couples treat cohabitation as a prelude to marriage. It is the moment in their lives when both parties find out if they are as compatible at home as they are outside. Couples often choose to do this when they are sure about the relationship. That means both can see themselves spending the rest of their lives with their significant other.
It works out often enough for most, which leads to marriage. However, some people experience the heartbreak of parting with their beloved and move out of their shared home.
Here are some ways to make the process of moving on a little less painful.
Find a Place to Stay.
Regardless of how the break up went, it’s a good idea not to go back to your shared place immediately. Instead, see if a close friend is willing to let you couch surf for a while. Or check out the living accommodations in your area.
Doing so allows you to get your emotions in check. It avoids your former partner in seeing the internal turmoil you’re going through.
Aside from temporary accommodations, think about your future one as well. A couch at a friend’s place can’t be your new home, and it’s the same with a hotel. It’s a good idea to think ahead and consider the apartments you can afford. In places like Richmond, Virginia, you can rent an apartment as your permanent home.
Have a Clear Discussion about the Lease or Fees of Your Home.
Discuss the logistics of your living situations when you’re both calm. It means that you don’t risk letting your emotions rule your decisions. While still reeling from the break-up, you should not be operating from a place of emotional turmoil.
Now, you and your partner may not have planned the splitting of the lease or fees of your place. Consider your options at the moment. Is selling the area possible? Will you sublet it to others? Or will one of you stay behind?
In this case, it’s best to leave the place altogether. This action can be a step you make to move on faster.
Sort Your Items Well.
After the lease or fees, possessions come next. Sorting out your belongings may be an emotional roller coaster, so it’s best to get over with it right away.
If you’re both leaving your home to sublet or sell it, you should start an inventory. Begin with large items like furniture, then continue off with small things.
At that moment, remember that it’s unlikely for you two to split things equally. Instead, try to consider a system. For example, you and your former partner can place a monetary price on each item. Whoever values it more can keep it.
As for gifts you’ve given each other, consider not taking them back. Each gift holds a significance that may not help you move on from the relationship and the situation. The recipient should be the rightful owner.
Once you’ve finished the harrowing process of sorting, move out as soon as you can. Either hire a moving company or use the help of your friends to make the process of leaving more manageable.
Allow Yourself to Be Sad.
Moving out doesn’t fix things immediately. If you still feel down, allow yourself to feel this way. It’s understandable, given how you once loved the person you parted with. Indulge yourself in these moments. Cry it out, or eat your favorite comfort food. You can even do both at once if it makes you feel better.
Try to Have Fun, Too.
The moving-on part is different for everyone. Some take a few weeks, while others need a longer time. Regardless of your pacing, don’t forget to enjoy life. It may still hurt, but don’t allow yourself to live in the past.
Go out with friends, mingle with strangers. Travel to other places, and you can even do things you like that you didn’t do while in a relationship. As a person flying solo, put your needs first without worrying about a significant other.